Imagine you are a 23 year old dancer with a little girl to take care of and the only dependable people in your life are your best friend and your brother's baby's mama. (I'm new at the baby mama slang)
So when I come in your strip club dressing room, introduce myself and give you a pedicure, you would be a shocked too when I refused to take payment or a tip.
Well, this dancer wasn't just shocked, she turned her head away and said "I'm gonna cry."
I'm sitting on the floor thinking, its just a pedicure? But what Kyle helped me realize later is, it wasn't that she didn't know how to accept a gift, she didn't know how to accept love.
In her world, love is a battlefield. You use people, they use you and you move on. Its is a painful gamble and it is easier to numb yourself and get used to it than remain open hearted.
In my world love is everywhere, my friendships, family, marriage, etc. So how do I bridge her life and mine? I don't know, but I'm trusting God to figure that out.
- Katy
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
My Little God Box
In the Bible God clearly tells the Israelites not to build idols to worship. What I never realized before was God was including idols of himself.
Many "gods" require statues to be built of themselves to be worshiped. What is different about the one true God is He doesn't want a man made picture of himself worshiped, He wants the unknown worshiped also.
When we think we understand God and who He is, we get a "picture" of Him in our minds. What we have to understand that the picture we have is not God. It is our idea of who He is.
Are you following me? It seems like details but it is actually a pretty big deal. When you lift up a picture of God you begin worshiping only what you understand of Him. God will then shake up your image of Him to remind you that He is far far more that you can think or imagine.
To fully worship Him we have to have our understanding of God increasing all the time. If you have put God in a box... well, your life is now in a box.
- Katy
Many "gods" require statues to be built of themselves to be worshiped. What is different about the one true God is He doesn't want a man made picture of himself worshiped, He wants the unknown worshiped also.
When we think we understand God and who He is, we get a "picture" of Him in our minds. What we have to understand that the picture we have is not God. It is our idea of who He is.
Are you following me? It seems like details but it is actually a pretty big deal. When you lift up a picture of God you begin worshiping only what you understand of Him. God will then shake up your image of Him to remind you that He is far far more that you can think or imagine.
To fully worship Him we have to have our understanding of God increasing all the time. If you have put God in a box... well, your life is now in a box.
- Katy
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Who Do You Say That I Am?
I just read this quote from Rick Warren: "What you become on earth matters far more than what you do. You're taking your character to heaven, not your career."
Hmmm. So what if you make serving the Kingdom your career? Does it still apply? In my opinion, YES.
Jesus said to love others as yourself. To me this means, first learn how to properly love yourself, second you will naturally love others.
When we try to be world changers out of a broken place we are not helping anyone. Hurt people hurt people, even if you are doing something noble. You may disagree with me (which is perfectly ok), but until you have a complete revelation that Jesus died for specifically you, you cannot fully see how Jesus died specifically for someone else.
I have know my entire life that Jesus died for the world because He loves us that much. But it wasn't until I grasped that He would have done the same thing had it just been me, that I could fully see other people's value.
Once we allow that kind of love to overwhelm us, we can be overwhelmed with compassion for others. Not sympathy. Compassion.
I believe to properly love myself is to ask God "Who do you say that I am?" and then believe Him and adjust my thinking to align with His perspective. Then I can view the world and others through His eyes and not through a filter that is based on my experiences.
My hope is that you will take time to consider how well you love yourself before trying to give out what you do not have. A changed perspective and acceptance of your true identity is the first step to loving others as yourself.
- Katy
Hmmm. So what if you make serving the Kingdom your career? Does it still apply? In my opinion, YES.
Jesus said to love others as yourself. To me this means, first learn how to properly love yourself, second you will naturally love others.
When we try to be world changers out of a broken place we are not helping anyone. Hurt people hurt people, even if you are doing something noble. You may disagree with me (which is perfectly ok), but until you have a complete revelation that Jesus died for specifically you, you cannot fully see how Jesus died specifically for someone else.
I have know my entire life that Jesus died for the world because He loves us that much. But it wasn't until I grasped that He would have done the same thing had it just been me, that I could fully see other people's value.
Once we allow that kind of love to overwhelm us, we can be overwhelmed with compassion for others. Not sympathy. Compassion.
I believe to properly love myself is to ask God "Who do you say that I am?" and then believe Him and adjust my thinking to align with His perspective. Then I can view the world and others through His eyes and not through a filter that is based on my experiences.
My hope is that you will take time to consider how well you love yourself before trying to give out what you do not have. A changed perspective and acceptance of your true identity is the first step to loving others as yourself.
- Katy
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Our God is Bigger
I have a crazy story to tell you. A young woman in the northern part of the country was in need of the rescuing power of God, took a risky step about 6 months ago, and her life crossed paths with mine.
This woman, who we will call Mary, was in a very dangerous situation. Raised in a Muslim family, her father was not happy when he found out that she had recently been saved and began threatening her and abusing her. She was being caged by his controlling behavior and she knew she had to get away.
Mary found out about my church through worship music she was listening to and out of desperation sent an email explaining her terrible situation. I don't know how, but that email sent into cyberspace came to me.
I can remember clearly reading the shocking words of her desperate circumstance. I sent Mary's email to a woman that I work with that I felt would be able to help her and prayed that God would work it out.
I never heard anything about it again until about 3 weeks ago. I was sitting in a meeting when one of our pastors shared a story that she had just heard about. That a young woman sent an email out crying for help and after months of planning she was rescued and brought here, given housing and is attending the church. I sat frozen knowing that was the email I had received months prior. They had no other information and I assumed I would never hear about it again.
This past Tuesday I was sitting at my desk when a tiny young woman came in my office to meet me. Yep, you guessed it. It was Mary.
I hugged her and started to cry knowing that our God is bigger, our God is stronger, our God is higher than any other. If our God is for us who can be against us?
Thirty minutes after she left I received an email from a woman in Baltimore crying out for help. In an abusive marriage and no money or way to get away from him. I will let you know how it goes.
- Katy
This woman, who we will call Mary, was in a very dangerous situation. Raised in a Muslim family, her father was not happy when he found out that she had recently been saved and began threatening her and abusing her. She was being caged by his controlling behavior and she knew she had to get away.
Mary found out about my church through worship music she was listening to and out of desperation sent an email explaining her terrible situation. I don't know how, but that email sent into cyberspace came to me.
I can remember clearly reading the shocking words of her desperate circumstance. I sent Mary's email to a woman that I work with that I felt would be able to help her and prayed that God would work it out.
I never heard anything about it again until about 3 weeks ago. I was sitting in a meeting when one of our pastors shared a story that she had just heard about. That a young woman sent an email out crying for help and after months of planning she was rescued and brought here, given housing and is attending the church. I sat frozen knowing that was the email I had received months prior. They had no other information and I assumed I would never hear about it again.
This past Tuesday I was sitting at my desk when a tiny young woman came in my office to meet me. Yep, you guessed it. It was Mary.
I hugged her and started to cry knowing that our God is bigger, our God is stronger, our God is higher than any other. If our God is for us who can be against us?
Thirty minutes after she left I received an email from a woman in Baltimore crying out for help. In an abusive marriage and no money or way to get away from him. I will let you know how it goes.
- Katy
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Down to the Neety Greety (Nacho Libre style)
I'm not sure why I feel such a need to be honest with whoever is reading this blog, but something in me says that my walk with the Lord may resound with one of you or encourage you when you are wondering "does God really care about me?"
Well let me look you in the monitor and say "He cares about all of it!" and I mean everything. I just heard someone say yesterday that God cares more about what He can do in you than what He can do through you. That statement rocks my world a little bit and I had to really think about that one. But, I have to say I agree.
If God cared mostly about what He could do through me, it would be a works based relationship. I have a grace based relationship with the Lord which mean He cares about my heart first. Then, secondly, cares about what I can do to further the Kindgom and serve people.
I find great joy in knowing God is always interested in bringing me to wholeness, and in turn, I can assist in bringing others to wholeness. I know that we will not be perfected until Heaven, but my life is going to be spent running that direction.
So do you want to run? I believe running to wholeness means giving every single inch of your being to the Lord. Not only your eternal future, but your identity, time, past, dreams, loves, fears, friendships, hurts, money, marriage, kids... (this could get long) to God.
I hope you spend this Wednesday knowing that your best friend (that just happens to run the Universe) loves spending time with you.
- Katy
Well let me look you in the monitor and say "He cares about all of it!" and I mean everything. I just heard someone say yesterday that God cares more about what He can do in you than what He can do through you. That statement rocks my world a little bit and I had to really think about that one. But, I have to say I agree.
If God cared mostly about what He could do through me, it would be a works based relationship. I have a grace based relationship with the Lord which mean He cares about my heart first. Then, secondly, cares about what I can do to further the Kindgom and serve people.
I find great joy in knowing God is always interested in bringing me to wholeness, and in turn, I can assist in bringing others to wholeness. I know that we will not be perfected until Heaven, but my life is going to be spent running that direction.
So do you want to run? I believe running to wholeness means giving every single inch of your being to the Lord. Not only your eternal future, but your identity, time, past, dreams, loves, fears, friendships, hurts, money, marriage, kids... (this could get long) to God.
I hope you spend this Wednesday knowing that your best friend (that just happens to run the Universe) loves spending time with you.
- Katy
Monday, September 13, 2010
Mexico to Canada
Some trips are nice and short. Some on the other hand are looooong. But when you arrive after a long journey, the destination is that much sweeter. Well, at least that is what I am telling myself.
I have shared before that perfectionism tries to run my life. Thankfully, my life is actually run by the Lord who trumps perfectionism, but sometimes I still allow it to take the top seat. I have found freedom from this bondage, which to me means, God has revealed it to me, taken away its power over me and given me the ability to recognize when it is creeping in the back door.
Unfortunately, that doesn't mean that I am immediately able to fully accept myself and not battle with finding acceptance. My pursuit to overcome perfectionism is a journey. The driving from Mexico to Canada kind of journey.
In this road trip that I am on, I must give myself grace when my world is out of control and I feel that it reflects badly on me. I have to give myself grace when I snap at someone when I'm under pressure or have a judgemental thought jump in my mind about someone's behavior. Or, how about this one? Give myself grace when comparing myself to a person much more kind, mature and gracious than I? Uh.
Giving myself grace is not believeing that my behavior is right, it is releasing myself after I make the situation right or ask for forgiveness. Accepting my personality, quirks, and weeknesses do not come naturally but God always welcomes me fully with a comforting embrace. Embracing me not because he overlooks what is wrong with me, but because he accepts all of me.
So there's not really a point or lesson in this blog, just a "day in the life" entry on my cross country road trip.
-Katy
I have shared before that perfectionism tries to run my life. Thankfully, my life is actually run by the Lord who trumps perfectionism, but sometimes I still allow it to take the top seat. I have found freedom from this bondage, which to me means, God has revealed it to me, taken away its power over me and given me the ability to recognize when it is creeping in the back door.
Unfortunately, that doesn't mean that I am immediately able to fully accept myself and not battle with finding acceptance. My pursuit to overcome perfectionism is a journey. The driving from Mexico to Canada kind of journey.
In this road trip that I am on, I must give myself grace when my world is out of control and I feel that it reflects badly on me. I have to give myself grace when I snap at someone when I'm under pressure or have a judgemental thought jump in my mind about someone's behavior. Or, how about this one? Give myself grace when comparing myself to a person much more kind, mature and gracious than I? Uh.
Giving myself grace is not believeing that my behavior is right, it is releasing myself after I make the situation right or ask for forgiveness. Accepting my personality, quirks, and weeknesses do not come naturally but God always welcomes me fully with a comforting embrace. Embracing me not because he overlooks what is wrong with me, but because he accepts all of me.
So there's not really a point or lesson in this blog, just a "day in the life" entry on my cross country road trip.
-Katy
Friday, August 27, 2010
Population Me
I was just in the car and heard a new song on KLTY. It caught my attention because, although I don't remember the exact lyrics, the idea was; I can make selfish decisions when the population is me.
That line of "population me" was very black and white. Selfish = me, selfless = 2. When we do something for another person, we leave the "me" camp and our perspective is broadened.
My husband and I have just bought a home and are moving this Sunday. We prayed through every decision regarding this house, because we knew this home was not ours, but a tool the Lord would use to bring peace and joy to other people. The first evening we owned the house, we went in the backyard and said "This is God's house. We don't deserve this and we did nothing to earn this. So we will only use it how God tells us to use it."
Making that decision from day one was so important to the population of our house. We can have a mentality of "us four no more" or we can create a safe environment for hurting people to come and find healing, through hospitality and friendship.
This example was set for us very strongly by our parents. Many people have found the love of Jesus through the peace and safety of our parents homes.
I wanted to write about this today because I pray that many others will have their perspective broadened about the value of their home. In American, the value of homes are based on size, materials used, trees on the lot, etc. But what is the true value of your home? Do you see it as a place for your family to eat and sleep? Or is it a place of refuge for the needy and comfort for the brokenhearted.
Kyle and I were raised in homes that didn't just shut the door to the world around it, but welcomed others in and met their needs.
This blog is a shout out to our parents. They prove that communities are changed when a family doesn't close the blinds, but instead, looks out and loves those who need help.
-Katy
That line of "population me" was very black and white. Selfish = me, selfless = 2. When we do something for another person, we leave the "me" camp and our perspective is broadened.
My husband and I have just bought a home and are moving this Sunday. We prayed through every decision regarding this house, because we knew this home was not ours, but a tool the Lord would use to bring peace and joy to other people. The first evening we owned the house, we went in the backyard and said "This is God's house. We don't deserve this and we did nothing to earn this. So we will only use it how God tells us to use it."
Making that decision from day one was so important to the population of our house. We can have a mentality of "us four no more" or we can create a safe environment for hurting people to come and find healing, through hospitality and friendship.
This example was set for us very strongly by our parents. Many people have found the love of Jesus through the peace and safety of our parents homes.
I wanted to write about this today because I pray that many others will have their perspective broadened about the value of their home. In American, the value of homes are based on size, materials used, trees on the lot, etc. But what is the true value of your home? Do you see it as a place for your family to eat and sleep? Or is it a place of refuge for the needy and comfort for the brokenhearted.
Kyle and I were raised in homes that didn't just shut the door to the world around it, but welcomed others in and met their needs.
This blog is a shout out to our parents. They prove that communities are changed when a family doesn't close the blinds, but instead, looks out and loves those who need help.
-Katy
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